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I think this deserved some embedment :)
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Jan. 14th, 2008 @ 10:28 pm
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One of the best videogame vids I've seen on YouTube
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Nov. 28th, 2007 @ 10:02 pm
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I was literally in tears laughing
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Amazingly artistic video
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Nov. 5th, 2007 @ 11:26 am
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This video is kinda old (in terms of YouTube at least), but I just fell in love with it the first time I saw it.
SGCurrent Mood:  calm |
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Another song that's had a lot of meaning to me lately
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Oct. 12th, 2007 @ 11:31 pm
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Garbage - You Look So Fine
Lyrics:
You look so fine
I want to break your heart
And give you mine
You're taking me over
It's so insane
You've got me tethered and chained
I hear your name
And I'm falling over
I'm not like all the other girls
I can't take it like the other girls
I won't share it like the other girls
That you used to know
You look so fine
Knocked down
Cried out
Been down just to find out
I'm through
Bleeding for you
I'm open wide
I want to take you home
We'll waste some time
You're the only one for me
You look so fine
I'm like the desert tonight
Leave her behind
If you want to show me
I'm not like all the other girls
I won't take it like the other girls
I won't fake it like the other girls
That you used to know
You're taking me over
Over and over
I'm falling over
Over and over
You're taking me over
Drown in me one more time
Hide inside me tonight
Do what you want to do
Just pretend happy end
Let me know let it show
Ending with letting go (3x)
Let's pretend, happy end (4x)
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For all one of you that read this blog, you get two updates tonight
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Oct. 10th, 2007 @ 10:15 pm
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One of the biggest issues I think I have to face in relationships is trust. Honestly, can anyone in a relationship ever be trusted? People swear up and down that they trust their spouses w/out a second thought. Yet, how many times do we find out about people getting away with affair after affair right under their spouse's nose... and the spouse never suspects a thing until he/she catches the other in the act.
That's where this song comes into play. For some reason, it just feels really genuine to me.
Garbage - Tell Me Where It Hurts
Here are the words if you are interested at all:
What is my day going to look like?
What will my tomorrow bring me?
If I had x-ray eyes, I could see inside
I wouldn’t have to predict the future
I wish that you would do with some talking
How else am I to know what you’re thinking?
If only people would say what it really was
What it really was
What it really was that they wanted
Tell me where it hurts
to hell with everybody else
All I care about is you and that's the truth
They don't love me; I can tell
But you do, so they can go to hell
Did they ever give you a reason
To believe in something different
If you’re looking for love, for what it's worth
I have plenty of it lying around here somewhere
If you are looking for disappointment
You can find it around any corner
In the middle of the night I hold on to you tight
So both of us can feel protected
Tell me where it hurts,
to hell with everybody else.
All I care about is you and that's the truth
they don't love me; yeah I can tell
but you do, so they can go to hell
I’ve been loved but I didn’t know how to feel it
And I’ve been adored but I don’t know if I ever believed it
I’ve been loved my whole life but I didn’t know how to take it
Until...
So tell me where it hurts
to hell with everybody else
All I care about is you and that's the truth
they don't love me, yeah I can tell
But you do, so they can go to hell
But you do, so they can go to hell
Tell me where it hurts
Tell me where it hurts
Tell me where it hurts now
Tell me where it hurts...Current Mood:  cynical |
| » So, what happens when the irresistable force hits the immovable object? |
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I think this is basically the same question asked by any guy when they want to ask a girl out who is WAY out of their league. So many women say that guys should be more vocal and never think any girl is out of their league. Whoever said that must have believe that it's "better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" ... which is a complete load of BS.
So, it's taken me quite a while, but I've finally found someone I want to try to ask out. I'm not gonna go into the details, but I'm doing a lot to attract this girl. Currently, I'm in the process of remodeling my townhouse to make it more inviting to females (as it's a complete bachelor pad right now). It's gonna be on an ongoing process over the next few months, I'm sure as it's going to be expensive.
In the meantime, once I finally get the initial cleaning/straightening done, I'm headin to the gym. I've already joined and have a lot of weight to lose.
UGH... talk about a rough thought. All in all, if I do land this girl, the ends will fully justify the means. But, if I don't... I just dunno... I guess I will have wasted a good bit of time and money.
SG
Oct. 10th, 2007 @ 10:06 pm
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| » Does Karma really work? |
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OK, so just to clarify right off the bat, I don't believe in the religious aspect of Karma in any way. But, it seems today's society has taken the word and applied a "what goes around comes around" connotation to it versus a religious one. And that's the Karma I believe in. But, I really have to wonder if that's true. Now, nothing has happened in my life recently to make me bring this point up specifically, but I was just thinking this afternoon. Does Karma really work? Do bad deeds really get punished, and do good deeds really get rewarded?
It's odd that people who seem to do one or two bad deeds very rarely ever pay for them in a negative way. Now, a lifetime of negative actions will eventually catch up with you. That I feel certain of. But, let's flip the coin for a minute. A few good deeds here and there don't seem to have any effect one way or the other on people (at least not from what I've experienced), but even worse, a lifetime of good deeds ends up catching up with you in the end. In the short term looking at a few good deeds now and again, there's really nothing that happens either way. In the long term, though, a life of good deeds will, unfortunately, always catch up with you in the same way a lifetime of negative actions would.
Just for example and a thought to leave you with, take the time tested and proven statement that "Nice guys finish last." I don't think there's a better example of Karma constantly failing for those that lead good lives than that one.
Sep. 29th, 2007 @ 10:21 pm
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| » 30 and 22... too big of an age difference to date? |
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Just wondering your opinions. Is the eight years between a 30 year old and 22 year old just too much of a generation gap to make things work out? Or is there still a good possibility that things will work?
Sep. 23rd, 2007 @ 07:42 pm
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| » I gotta find more relaxing ways to... well... relax |
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Tonight's going to be a LONG night. I'm covering the pager for our off hours on-call for a few hours (only til 8PM), so I was able to take off a bit early and get some errands out of the way. I was home by 5PM, had dinner, worked on a problem for a bit, and now I honestly don't know what to do.
First things first... let's get going out and doing anything out of the way for tonight. It's not going to happen. Since I have to cover until 8PM, it makes it a bit difficult to plan anything when you have to be back up and behind a computer at 8AM the next morning (and I'm already sleep deprived as it is).
Secondly, I can't seem to find any games I want to play, and to be bluntly honest, that's just sad. At current count, I have 210 games, and not a single one that I have any interest in playing right now. Unfortunately, all my Windows games are out of the question since my vid card is having issues. So, it's console or nothing. I have a HUGE backlog of games, and in particular RPGs. But, as I mentioned in the subject, I need to find a way to relax. RPGs don't really let you relax unless you're just leveling.
I guess I want something more like Star Wars Galaxies from the old days... back before they completely bastardized the game. On a night like tonight, I could log into the server, mark myself as AFK, and just spend two or three hours shopping in South Coronet Mall, hopping from planet to planet hoping to find that one vendor who has that resource or item I need to craft that weapon I haven't been able to craft yet. I miss the pure social aspects of that game. I remember going to the most famous tailor on my server to get a new set of clothing made for my character. She set me up just like I wanted. I miss those days. Now everything is combat, combat, combat, combat.
World of Warcraft is coming out with another expansion. Rumors say that it'll probably be released by the end of the year if Blizzard keeps up with their "one expansion per year" roll (Burning Crusade came out late last year). In this new expansion, I believe Blizzard will finally be introducing the first true noncombatant in the entire game. The purpose of this class (called the Scribe maybe) is the create stat increases (not sure if it's in players, weapons, or what). That seriously might get me into that game.
The problem is... what do I do between now and then? Granted, over the next few weeks, there are some games coming out that will ABSOLUTELY keep my attention. This week is a five game week for me. Picked up Crazy Taxi on Monday. I bought Monster Hunter Freedom 2 as it was an Amazon.com deal of the day for 25% off. That one came in today. Prey was another amazon deal of the day for $12, so I had to pick that one up. That'll be in tomorrow. Heavenly Sword comes out Thursday, and last (but MOST DEFINITELY not least), skate. comes out on Friday. I'll probably be playing skate. all day everyday for a couple of weeks at least.
Between now, and... well Friday, I'm not sure what to do really. Tonight, I'm just SOL. Tomorrow I have That Wednesday Night Thing as well as Band Practice. So, that'll keep me occupied during the evening, but not during the day. Thursday, I honestly don't know what I'll be doing. I really want to go join the local skatepark here in town (yes, for those of you who don't already know, I've started skateboarding). But, I have a BAD habit of picking up new hobbies, spending WAY too much money on 'em, then getting sick of them after a month or so. I'm working on cutting back on that big time. So, I'm trying to hold off on joining the skatepark until I know for sure that it's something I really want to put a lot of time into (especially since it's against the rules at my townhouse complex...though I don't know how strictly it's enforced).
Tonight, I'm bored. And, I know I'm gonna stay that way :(
Sep. 11th, 2007 @ 05:46 pm
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| » More info on my last entry |
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I apologize for my uber short entry last night. I had a lot on my mind, and I was dead tired. Anyway, my anxiety is really gettin to me. I dunno why, but last night, I had what felt like a minor anxiety attack but it lasted for like hours. My Xanax couldn't even start to slow it down. It didn't help that the middle part of this week is almost completely tied up with stuff I have to do after work. It's all stuff I want to do and enjoy, but it's tough knowing that I won't have a day to myself for a while. Tonight, I got a hair appointment. Tomorrow is That Wednesday Night Thing and band practice at church. Thursday, I'm going to see a pre-screening of Halloween.
On top of all that, one of the people I used to be very close to on YouTube has completely done a 180 on personality. Now, I'm not going to name names (real names or user names), but I did finally ask her last night which of the people she was. Was she the person I carried on conversations with late into the night? Or the person in the latest videos. Seems she's the person in the latest videos. I'm not going to go further into specifics because I don't think she'd want me to. I'm glad she told me exactly what was up, but I don't think I have the right to go around telling everyone. It's nice to see her again, but I really don't like the person she's become.
So, way way too much on my mind these days.
Aug. 28th, 2007 @ 02:33 pm
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| » Umm... |
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Saddened and overly anxious. Not a good night at all.
Aug. 27th, 2007 @ 11:20 pm
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| » My leg again |
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For the first time in my life, direct flash was being too kind. Here's a shot of my leg with no flash...this is what it really looks like. The direct flash was making it look a lot nicer than it actually looks (once again, click on the image to see full size).
Aug. 8th, 2007 @ 03:03 pm
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| » This is just really frustrating |
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OK, so recently, it's really come to my attention that I've been just gettin by on what I know and almost no practice when it comes to guitar. When you're playing for the fun of it for yourself, that's one thing. Playing for God and for your church, that's another. And, I really realized that I need to be working on my guitar skills.
Alright, to start this off, let me say that I'll make this one quick, but it will be very musically oriented. The standard tuning of a guitar from thickest to thinnest string is E, A, D, G, B, E. Now, back when I was learning to play, standard tuning was probably the most popular, but the heavier bands were using something called "Drop D." Now, this tuning is a very simple detune of just a single string. Just drop the low E string down a full step to D. In other words, the tuning then becomes D, A, D, G, B, E. If you'll notice, this tuning makes for extremely easy one fret, 1-5-1 power chords. If you've ever wondered how your favorite heavy 90's band was able to make power chords so quickly, now you know. Drop D was very easy to get to, and it was very easy to revert back to standard tuning in very little time. Also, around this time, the seven string guitar had become popular giving an additional low B string (tuning was: B, E, A, D, G, B, E). This kind of guitar allowed for much lower chords to be played without having to detune the guitar at all.
Today's guitarists, on the other hand, are detuning the entire guitar rather than using just drop D or a seven string guitar. You'll see a lot of music written with the entire guitar or certain strings detuned anywhere from a half step to up to two full steps. Now, this kind of tuning is tough to accomplish because it simply takes too long to get into that tuning as well as back into standard tuning. The only answer...own more than one guitar. This is where this story gets frustrating. I'm sorry, but I'm not droppin hundreds of dollars per guitar on like four guitars to keep one of 'em in standard tuning, one tuned D to D, another tuned C# to C#, and the list goes on. I mean, if I was making money playing guitar, then yeah, owning multiple guitars in multiple tunings would make sense. But, right now, I own two (one of which my brother-in-law is borrowing).
Anyway, to wrap up, there was a song I really wanted to learn over the next few days. I tracked the tab down online only to find out that the song was in one of those "every string detuned one step with the lowest string detuned two steps" tunings. SO frustrating!
SG
Aug. 8th, 2007 @ 12:40 am
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| » Do you ever get that urge... |
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...to just "aim to misbehave?" Like the lyrics of this song: "I'll ask polite if the devil needs a ride because the angel on my right ain't hanging out with me tonight"
Anyone who can tell me where that quote and those lyrics come from without having to look it up on the web has my utmost respect.
I also tore my leg up tonight and twisted my ankle (ankle isn't bad). Here's a picture of my leg (and this is after I cleaned it up a good bit... click on the picture below to see the full size image):
SG
Aug. 7th, 2007 @ 11:20 pm
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| » Just checking to see if e-mail posting works |
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So... Does it work?
Jul. 9th, 2007 @ 10:23 pm
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| » To click or not to click (Part 2) |
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When I told my parents that I honestly miss photography, the first thing my mom asked me was if I regretted selling any of my equipment. My answer, a very non-hesitant, "no." I really, truly don't regret selling any of my equipment. Would it be nice to still have it all? Sure! But, all the gear just wasn't being used enough to justify the cost of having it around. And, I put the money to a much better use anyway (new guitar, new amp, new bass, etc.).
See, I made a big mistake about 18 months ago. I went ahead and made a huge initial investment into becoming a semi-pro glamour photographer without a single client to help pay back those bills. I have no problem admitting that it was a really stupid move. It's like buying a car before you have a license. Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way about trying to start a business that relies entirely on clients.
This time around, I want to start off very small. Entry level camera, intermediate level lens, hot shoe flash only, and a few other miscellaneous items. From there, I'll work my way up. If I decide to carry through with it and gain a decent client base, then I'll begin to buy better and more lenses, a higher end camera body, and possibly a few used strobes. But, that'll come much later.
Now that I have a phone that has a full keyboard, e-mail client, and a multi-service IM client, I can be a lot more accessible. Plus, now they have Skype for Windows Mobile phones which means I can have two different numbers that ring to the same phone. I just think it'd be so cool for a model to hit me up by IM, phone call, e-mail, or a text message asking me if we can meet up later to shoot some photos. Being the gadget freak I am, I've always wanted to be able to do that. Now I can, but I have no intermediate lens and no clients.
Jul. 7th, 2007 @ 06:33 pm
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| » To click or not to click |
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As probably everyone who reads this particular blog can tell, I'm into photography. Now, over the last 18 months to two years, I've been pretty much stuck on Event Photography alone (parties, anniversaries, gatherings, holidays, etc.). Well, while that's great and all, interrupting someone who didn't hire you to ask them to pose for a photo that will take away from their time spent with friends just doesn't seem like a great idea to me. So, I'm trying just to snap off as many candids as I can remember to while I'm there. The problem is that 1) I'm not good at candid photography, and 2) I honestly want my photos to mean something.
There are multitudes of snapshot photographers out there that don't care about exposure, depth of field, having the right lens, and most of them don't even know what the word aperture means. All they want is something to remember the event by, and that's just fine for those people. Me, on the other hand, I've never been a photographer who cares about remembering events. While it may not be as vivid as a photo or video, I've been blessed with a good memory. I can remember so many things from my first time driving to my first time spinning in front of a live crowd...from my first surprise birthday party to how terribly sick I was on my first niece's birthday. So, all that said, event photos really don't mean much to me as I have most of it stored in my head.
What I want to use photography for is a form of artistic expression. Now, I've tried lots of different kinds of photography from still life to macro, from event to sports. After reading about and looking into going after each of those types of photography, I've come to one conclusion. I'm a people photographer, and those people need to be posed. I must congratulate portrait photographers as I could never have their job. It would drive me insane. There's very little, if any, real creativity in portrait photography. Set up your lights. Set up your backgrounds. Set up your camera. Then, all you have to do is put a person in front of the lens, press the shutter button, and move to the next. I need something that allows for a much more creative perspective. In other words, I'm always going to be a Fashion and Glamour photographer.
But (and there's always a "but"), Glamour and Fashion photography have caused me a lot more pain and suffering than joy. I won't go into deep detail about it, but things never seemed right. And, photography in general is why I began to the urge to cut. But, that's a tale for a different time. Also, I honestly can't tell if photography, as a whole, is something that God wants me to be doing right now. Unfortunately, I need a second hobby. Gaming has always been, is, and hopefully always will be my primary hobby, but I believe every needs at least two hobbies. Eventually, sooner or later, you're going to get a little tired of or just flat out bored with your main hobby and need a break (be it a few hours, a few days, a few months, maybe a year). I'm in that "I desperately need a break" stage. Plus, on top of that, my youngest niece's second birthday is coming up in a week, and my grandfather's 80th birthday is coming up in two weeks. And, wouldn't you know it, I don't have a lens that'll work well for either. So, I think I'm going to be at least buying one new lens in the near future to be able to get a few good photos from those two events. And, who knows, maybe in the near future, I'll start on my true photography passion.
This one is gettin a bit long even though I have more to say, so I'm going to end this one here and pick it back up soon.
Jul. 6th, 2007 @ 09:14 pm
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| » Funny when you realize other people go through the same things you do |
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Found a song today that, if I get the lyrics, relates to me far too well. Here are the lyrics to Framing Hanley - Built for Sin
There's a train leaving town, If you hurry up I think you just might make it
Dammit I hope you make it
Conscience is a faint, unpleasant sound, You've worried enough, but here's your chance so take it
Dammit I hope you take it
A heart attack is sleeping in your chest, waiting until the timing's best
So make a move, while you're still breathing
Say so long to innocence
From underneath the evidence
You taste like Heaven, but God knows you're built for sin
There's a lie, for every truth, If you take these pills, I think you just might make it
Dammit I hope you make it
When you were mine, was I for you, Just one cheap thrill just to help you make it
Dammit I hope you didn't fake it
Hypocrisy has really aged you well
The white on your nose is your secret to tell
So you should speak, while they're still listening
Say so long to innocence
From underneath the evidence
You taste like Heaven, but God knows your built for sin
You can scream out loud
But your panic falls on deaf ears
This is where you've brought yourself
And this is what you've always feared
There's a faceless crowd, with no sympathy
So you can scream out loud
But there's no one listening
Say so long to innocence
From underneath the evidence
You taste like Heaven, but God knows your built for sin
Jun. 17th, 2007 @ 09:49 pm
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| » Emotionally emotionless |
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I'm really not afraid of very many emotions. Occasionally I get a little afraid when I get really angry just because I don't necessarily handle anger too well. But, other than that, I'm fine. I'm not scared of stress. I'm not scared of happiness. I'm not scared of joy. I'm not scared of peace. I'm not scared of sadness. I'm not scared of being down.
So, why am I so incredibly scared of love?
May. 31st, 2007 @ 07:19 pm
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